february

February is here and love is in the air! And not just romantic love! I recently got dinner with a friend of mine, and I started ruminating on what it meant to live with love in your heart. 

I’ve been saying that I want to practice love more openly this year, but to be completely honest, I didn’t actually think that hard about what it entailed. After classes today, I got the chance to really dedicate myself to figuring it out. It’s still not a fully fleshed out concept for me yet, but here’s the basic gist of it. 

When I think of all the ways I’ve loved and been loved, there aren’t enough words in any language of the world for me to explain how it has fueled me. I am eternally grateful for the gift of love that I have been blessed with at all angles in my life. Unfortunately, I refused to acknowledge how loved I am for several years; by doing so, I no longer freely poured love into myself and into others. I’m not saying I turned into a heartless monster or anything like that. I am saying that I chose to guard my heart rather than wear it on my sleeve because vulnerability felt like weakness, and I didn’t feel like I could afford to be weak.

I am not at a place where I believe that there is no use in withholding love. Reach out to a friend for dinner! Maybe smile at someone you walk by! Compliment the person sitting next you in class! Freely showing love is one of the few things we can do as people that doesn’t require you to do anything other than be kind and genuine, and it would be a pity to deny ourselves that right.