A year ago, I decided I wanted to create a place where I could be the truest version of myself. I knew absolutely nothing about writing casually, and even less about building a website. I had nothing but a dream, lots of time, and some incredible people cheering me on.
A lot can change in a year. When I wrote my first blog post, I might’ve been losing my mind just a bit. I was trying really hard to be normal because I thought that would make me cool. I started an entire blog with the intention of being honest and vulnerable and then proceeded to conceal everything that makes me who I am.
I don’t want to say that I am the coolest person ever right now, but I’m at least more honest about who I am. I’m not trying to be interesting and well-liked. I’m not trying to write what I think people want to read. I’ve embraced the fact that this is my blog; I can write what I want, when I want.
Idony has given me a certain freedom I never imagined I could have. I’ve felt a bit emotionally suppressed in the past few years, hiding my hurt for the sake of having people think I was really calm and collected. At some point in the past year, this blog has stopped being just a platform where I publish my writing; it has become a place I can use to process my emotions and late night ponderings.
I love that the more comfortable I become here, the more people feel connected to it. I love that sometimes people reach out and spark a conversation about a piece I posted. I love maintaining the website, and I love that I designed the entire website by myself with absolutely zero idea of what I was doing.
I took the name Idony from the same list that has the names of my future children, and in a way, it really does feel like my baby. One whole year! There have been many stressful nights where I could not find the words to write what I felt. Weeks have passed where I felt like I was not good at this because writer’s block had shackled me.
I’ve written so many pieces that will probably stay in my drafts forever, but I’ve also posted works that make me so proud that I tear up thinking about them. Every single word I have typed this year lives in my heart. I am so proud of what this has become, and I am so excited to see where else it will go.
Thank you all so, so much for this past year. Every single comment, story like, and blog-related conversation means the absolute world to me.
One year down, many more to come!
with all the love in the world,
malaika xoxoxoxoxoxo
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