Validation

Tonight is the start of the full moon in Aquarius directly opposing the sun in Leo. While there are a plethora of astrological implications to the positioning of the planets today, one of the main takeaways that resonates with me is the clashing of the sense of self opposite the sense of one’s place in the community. I’ve been meaning to write about validation for a while now, and I figured what better time to do so than now, when the cosmos are telling us to consider how and why our sense of personal identity can be shaped by the world around us.

I, like many young women, have been terribly concerned about how I am perceived by the world around me. It didn’t matter whether it was the clothes I wore, the music I listened to, the food I ate, or the places I went. At least halfl of my thoughts revolved around who the people who saw me thought I was. It led to anxiety that felt almost soul-consuming, and unfortunately, I spent the entirety of my adolescence feeling that. 

Since turning 20, I’ve been striving to find validation in myself. Escaping the grip external validation has on me is easier said than done. For some reason, I have spent my entire life seeking permission to simply be myself. Even when I express myself freely, whether that’s here on this website or the clothes I wear, I always want someone to tell me that it’s good, or at the very least, cool. 

I’ve officially had enough of it. When I’m alone or with the people I love, I don’t need to be told I’m enough, so why should I base my sense of self on the opinions of people I don’t actually value? Most of my insecurities are rooted in absolute delusion. I know my self. I know I’m cool and funny and witty, and I know this so well that I cannot see why I should care about the opinions of people who do not know me.