I turn 20 tomorrow, so I’ve decided to celebrate with you all! After a long, unexpected hiatus, I’m beyond excited to say that we are SO back!
To be completely honest, I spent the past semester locked up in my dorm, filled with fear and angst. In some intense combination of seasonal depression and existential dread, I realized I was truly terrified about how I was perceived.
I still haven’t fully shaken that fear away quite yet, but I am feeling much better. Maybe it’’s because my birthday is coming up, or maybe it’s because I go home in less than two weeks, but I’m feeling optimistic. I’m writing again, steadily working to shake away the embarrassment of sharing my thoughts with the world.
This time I’ve had to myself has given me the opportunity to really sit and reconsider what I want Idony to be. I’d be lying if I said I had a full plan for this blog when I first started. I knew I had things I wanted to say, and I knew it would be wise to actually publish it.
As I sit here, mere hours away from entering my 20s, I’m preparing to embark on a journey where I release myself from shame and embarrassment. So much of my anxiety is just from feeling constantly humiliated by what I assume people think of me.
That’s why this entire website went through a full redesign. That’s why I’m planning to write more. That’s why I’m changing the way I promote this blog, and it’s why I’m planning on actually regularly posting on social media. I love writing, and I love Idony. I’ve put in a lot of time and passion and true love into this, and it would be such a waste if I didn’t truly try to share it with the world. Spending my 20s afraid of people knowing I care seems a bit pathetic, and if I want to really save myself from that fate, I have to start here.
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